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BUY MY CARDS!

I wanted to turn this into a Christmas card, but CafePress charges $3 a card, $12 for a box of 10. Why would anyone pay that for cards when you can get a box of 15 for $6 at Target? Merry Christmas everyone! Pull down your pants and bend over, cuz CafePress is gonna screw you hard for Christmas!
Well, here's the bargain we're going to strike up. I will post the pictures for the card here. You save the images, and make it into a card yourself. Clearly I can't stop anyone from doing this for free, and I wouldn't blame you if you did. But I've been unemployed since April so this card, and a half eaten Oreo, may be all anyone gets from me for Christmas. So, if out of the goodness of your heart you want to, you can give me a dollar for each card you make. THAT I feel is a fair price. If I was setting the price of having them made and sold, I'd only charge a dollar a card.

Now, the sales pitch...
It's Christmas, and you haven't been able to find a job all year. Your unemployment has run out, you're Christmas tree is up, but you can't afford electricity to plug it in. If you're desperate for something to give for Christmas, and your down to your last dollar, then BUY MY CARD!
It lays it all out to everyone you care about why the only thing they're getting from you is a stupid card.
It's funny, it's timely, and it will be the last time this will be available. Trust me, it's gonna be a very long time before someone from the Bush family is President again. Seriously, you're great-grandchildren will be dead before it may ever happen.
A Wii becomes obsolete (remember Intelevision?) A funny card never goes out of date.
front...
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inside
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However if you want to, you can buy a pack of 10 cards for $11.50 at The Mike & Ericporium.








It's been a long time...

To all members of the Alternative United Nations:

Just like the members of the real United Nations who are sitting pretty in their skyscrapered glass offices in downtown Manhattan, we of the ALTERNATIVE UN have also become transparent, irrelevant... forgotten.

Except without the fancy offices.

And strike out Manhattan, too.

But enough about lamenting of the lack of decent office space!

The time has now come for all members to dig deep - deep, deep down into the furthest reaches of their stinkin' guts - to put voice to their fears, prose to their serious concerns, words to their simmering emotions, and vent out all their rage against the state the world is currently in!

To start off with, we need ideas and solutions to the urgent issue of Climate Change. We seriously need to debate the viability of burning The Rich instead of using our depleted fossil fuels. I mean, it's a great idea and all, but just like our precious coal, oil and gas reserves, The Rich are a finite resource, and well... there simply just isn't enough of them out there to sustain the multitudes of power we need. But that isn't to say we shouldn't do it anyway...

Now, where was I?

Oh yes - RANT! We need to pull together and rant and rave against the challenges we are facing in the world today! The most important government elections in the world will be on our collective doorsteps within the next two months and we need to collate our intelligent literative powers to do all we can so that an old neo-con feeb and his hypocritical moose-hunting-stepford-wife don't plunge us further backward to the Dark Ages of civilization.

Hands to keyboards, people! STAT!!!

Let 'em know

A CASE FOR HEARINGS
By Representatives and Members of the Judiciary Committee:
Robert Wexler (D-FL), Luis Gutierrez (D-IL), and Tammy Baldwin (D-WI)


On November 7, the House of Representatives voted to send a resolution of impeachment of Vice President Cheney to the Judiciary Committee. As Members of the House Judiciary Committee, we strongly believe these important hearings should begin.

The issues at hand are too serious to ignore, including credible allegations of abuse of power that if proven may well constitute high crimes and misdemeanors under our constitution. The charges against Vice President Cheney relate to his deceptive actions leading up to the Iraq war, the revelation of the identity of a covert agent for political retaliation, and the illegal wiretapping of American citizens.

Now that former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has indicated that the Vice President and his staff purposefully gave him false information about the outing of Valerie Plame Wilson as a covert agent to report to the American people, it is even more important for Congress to investigate what may have been an intentional obstruction of justice. Congress should call Mr. McClellan to testify about what he described as being asked to “unknowingly [pass] along false information.” In addition, recent revelations have shown that the Administration including Vice President Cheney may have again manipulated and exaggerated evidence about weapons of mass destruction -- this time about Iran’s nuclear capabilities.

Some of us were in Congress during the impeachment hearings of President Clinton. We spent a year and a half listening to testimony about President Clinton’s personal relations. This must not be the model for impeachment inquires. A Democratic Congress can show that it takes its constitutional authority seriously and hold a sober investigation, which will stand in stark contrast to the kangaroo court convened by Republicans for President Clinton. In fact, the worst legacy of the Clinton impeachment – where the GOP pursued trumped up and insignificant allegations - would be that it discourages future Congresses from examining credible and significant allegations of a constitutional nature when they arise.

The charges against Vice President Cheney are not personal. They go to the core of the actions of this Administration, and deserve consideration in a way the Clinton scandal never did. The American people understand this, and a majority support hearings according to a November 13 poll by the American Research Group. In fact, 70% of voters say that Vice President Cheney has abused his powers and 43% say that he should be removed from office right now. The American people understand the magnitude of what has been done and what is at stake if we fail to act. It is time for Congress to catch up.

Some people argue that the Judiciary Committee can not proceed with impeachment hearings because it would distract Congress from passing important legislative initiatives. We disagree. First, hearings need not tie up Congress for a year and shut down the nation. Second, hearings will not prevent Congress from completing its other business. These hearings involve the possible impeachment of the Vice President – not our commander in chief – and the resulting impact on the nation’s business and attention would be significantly less than the Clinton Presidential impeachment hearings. Also, despite the fact that President Bush has thwarted moderate Democratic policies that are supported by a vast majority of Americans -- including children’s health care, stem cell research, and bringing our troops home from Iraq -- the Democratic Congress has already managed to deliver a minimum wage hike, an energy bill to address the climate crisis and bring us closer to energy independence, assistance for college tuition, and other legislative successes. We can continue to deliver on more of our agenda in the coming year while simultaneously fulfilling our constitutional duty by investigating and publicly revealing whether or not Vice President Cheney has committed high crimes and misdemeanors.

Holding hearings would put the evidence on the table, and the evidence – not politics – should determine the outcome. Even if the hearings do not lead to removal from office, putting these grievous abuses on the record is important for the sake of history. For an Administration that has consistently skirted the constitution and asserted that it is above the law, it is imperative for Congress to make clear that we do not accept this dangerous precedent. Our Founding Fathers provided Congress the power of impeachment for just this reason, and we must now at least consider using it.


For more info on this campaign go to WexlerWantsHearings.com.

Throw the bastards out!

[serious] Iron Harvest. 61 years later.

This morning, a construction worker was killed near Aschaffenburg, Bavaria, -- by a bomb from WWII. A small one.

http://www.spiegel.de/panorama/0,1518,444091,00.html
http://www.br-online.de/bayern-heute/artikel/0610/23-explosion-auf-a3/index.xml
(German text plus photos)

Last year, 20 tons of unexploded ordnance have been defused is Bavaria alone. Near Verdun, France, they find 900 tons every year.

Nobody knows where exactly all those leftovers are hiding -- after the war, people had other problems than making maps of where stuff exploded (or rather, didn't). You could stumble across unexploded ordnance while stolling through park, making out in the wilderness, at work. Hell, your train could wake up one. In Oranienburg, people get evacuated from their homes every few months because builders run into a Blindgänger.

Wikipedia: "France will be fully cleared and safe -- in seven-hundred years.".

And this is just ordinary explosives. No Depleted Uranium like in Iraq.

The Democrats Don't Have Any Ideas

What House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi would do in the first 100 hours...
Put new rules in place to "break the link between lobbyists and legislation."

Enact all the recommendations made by the 9/11 commission.

Raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour.

Cut the interest rate on student loans in half.

Allow the government to negotiate for lower drug prices for Medicare patients.

Broaden the types of stem cell research allowed with federal funds.

"Pay as you go," meaning no increasing the deficit, whether the issue is middle class tax relief, health care or some other priority. Bush-era tax cuts would have to be rolled back for those above incomes of $250,000 or $300,000 a year and higher.

So, what are the Republicans ideas? Oh right...continue to blindly follow the bumbling Gilligan Hitler President who made this warring and economical mess that keeps getting worse than you think it could with every incompetent inaction and bald-faced lie that falls out of that butthole under his nose.

What She Said!

From mcbrennan...
The post-modern thing to do would be to talk about something else, anything else. As a culture we've perfected the art of whistling past the graveyard. It can't continue much longer.

Earlier tonight I watched our used-car-salesman-in-chief trot out his latest batch of folksy, home-spun lies and rationalizations for his past five years of utter failure, delivered with gnawing desperation by a man whose incompetence is exceeded only by his willful ignorance. His bogus claims must not go unchallenged.

There is no "Patriot Day". There is no million-man army of terrorists massing to defeat us. We are at war with shadows, with irrational fear, with random bands of isolated maniacs who could strike today or never. This is the War on Drugs taken to its ludicrous extreme: the metaphor that killed democracy. What is a war without a solid, tangible enemy? Without an achievable goal? Surely Mr. Bush does not suggest he can vaporize the last nineteen angry Arabs, the last nineteen box cutters. And anything short of that is pointless. Spend trillions on bureaucracies with Orwellian names, devote the people's purse to enriching bloated defense contractors, and still there will be plentiful opportunities for well-considered do-it-yourself destruction--especially in a world where scale and proportionality have long been abandoned. Abandoned first and foremost by us, the creamy moral center of civilization. In this pointless, cataclysmic boondoggle of a war in Iraq, how many civilians did "we" casually slaughter with missiles and bombs because we thought Saddam Hussein or his aides or some terrorist kingpin might be nearby? How many weddings did we shoot up, how many families did we gun down, how many "misunderstandings" that ended in indiscriminate death? Even the most conservative estimates suggest that we, the "good guys", have killed well over ten times as many civilians as the September 11th terrorists did. Why is that acceptable? Why is it never even counted as a consequence of our actions? What's the magic ratio of American deaths to "foreigner" deaths before the debt is paid? What's the number, Mr. Bush? What's the number of civilians it's okay to kill before we consider ourselves avenged? And how many of our own sons and daughters have to die or come home mangled and broken and forever destroyed in order to preserve the illusion of justice? For a President who claims to be a disciple of Christ, Mr. Bush seems especially devoted to the Old Testament.

What happened on 9/11 was a crime orchestrated and committed by savage men. If our system of government deserves to endure, if our Constitution is sound and our rule of law just, it should be more than sufficient to capture and prosecute the culprits. But who subverted that process? Who decided that our "freedom" was too weak, that "innocent until proven guilty" doesn't apply anymore, that things like evidence and due process are quaint anachronisms we can no longer afford? Who authorized torture, built secret prisons, sidestepped and subverted American and international law? Who decided the separation of powers, the checks and balances the Framers built were beneath us now, tossed on the scrap heap of history along with things like character and honesty and principle? You did that, Mr. Bush. That was your decision, and nobody held a box cutter to your throat.

They do not hate us for our freedom, Mr. Bush. They hate us because American power has been used around the world for nefarious purposes. They hate us for propping up corrupt regimes. They hate us for turning a blind eye to the naked racism and bloody war crimes perpetrated by our sock-puppet allies. They hate us because our benevolent left hand never knows what evil the right hand is doing. They hate us because we're resource-stealing hypocrites who believe in liberty and justice for us. They hate us because when tragedy strikes, when disaster or war claims lives, our media reports the score only in American dead. And they hate us because their insane, stone age religious gibberish is in conflict with your insane, stone-age religious gibberish. Both sides hate women and gays, want to legislate every aspect of personal behavior and believe that the eons-old chicken-scratch ramblings of drunken, inbred, uneducated shepherds constitutes the divine will of the creator. Both share a slavish devotion to ignorance. Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Despite all the multicolored light bulbs and shrieking alarm bells--all of which seem to mysteriously coincide with election season--there have been no terrorist attacks in this country in the past five years, which has led to a wave of smug, self-satisfied pronouncements about how giving up our freedom has somehow preserved it. What if there have been no terrorist attacks because the terrorists have not attacked? Given the Bush administration's enthusiastic prosecution of random hobos and teenagers buying too many cell phones, one would expect that if they broke up an actual terrorist cell, they would fall all over themselves running to Kinko's to make a nice victory backdrop with big letters for their tinkertoy constituency to read. Instead they roll out that brutal Stalinist troll Dick Cheney to pronounce that the absence of attacks is proof of Bush's awesome competence and power, and that we have nothing to fear but Nancy Pelosi. Perhaps the absence of major hurricanes thus far this year is due to the massive hurricane dissipation machine President Bush built out of Legos and Schlitz cans down on his ranch, on a break from his heroic brush-clearing duties.

The best way to honor those who gave their lives on September 11th is to live up to our founding principles, not live down to our darkest fears. Our ideals and guiding principles have given hope to the world, have brought shiploads of immigrants to our shores to make a new life, immigrants who have built this country and continue to do so despite growing suspicion, hostility and ignorance. Bush will never be able to kill all those who might hate us. For every life we take in violence, by accident or by design, a dozen more will spring up seeking revenge. Like a kind of bumbling, malevolent zombie Henry Ford, Bush has perfected the most efficient factory ever produced for manufacturing America's enemies. Call it Iraq. Not to worry, Mr. Bush. It's unlikely they'll ever unionize.

Ultimately, the only war that truly matters is the war of ideas. If the American idea, writ large in the Constitution and our other bedrock documents, is worth defending by force, surely it's worth honoring in practice--every day, under every circumstance, not just when it's convenient or easy or comfortable. If our truths are self-evident--if all men are created equal and endowed with certain unalienable rights--then those rights apply in Guantanamo Bay, and Yemen, and Bulgaria, and every other place where sadistic tyrants would seek to build black prisons in the name of freedom. If our ideals stop at the water's edge, attempting to export them by force seems more than a little disingenuous. Perhaps exporting it by example might be more effective.

President Bush is correct about one thing. We are in the defining struggle of the 21st century. But that struggle is not between the United States and Al-Qaeda, or the United States and Iraq, or between Christianity and Islam. We are in a struggle to define whether reason can triumph over fear and superstition, whether the ideals of Plato and Jefferson and Lincoln will stand for the ages or be subverted and destroyed by a gang of amoral death merchants and venal, opportunistic thugs who commit their daily crimes behind the convenient shadows of the American flag. Above all, this is a kind of civil war, a death-struggle for the soul of the most powerful democracy on earth, the greatest force for good the world has ever known. It remains to be seen whether old-fashioned notions like liberty and justice can compete against X-Ray shoes and Orange Alerts and TomKats and Paris Hiltons and "Swift Boat Veterans For Truth". Paddy Chayefsky was right, Howard Beale was right. Our media is "the most awesome goddamn propaganda force in the whole godless world." It's controlled by mindless, soulless, headless bodies called corporations, given putative "personhood" by a Frankensteinian series of bought and bungled legal mistakes that make corporate "persons" greater than the flesh-and-blood kind. They seek unlimited power. They have no conscience and no allegiance. Bush is their crowned king for a reason.

Hubris has blinded us to the realities of the world around us--the hubris inherent in being the self-declared "world's only superpower." While we sink in the quicksand of the middle east, pouring blood and treasure down a bottomless pit, sharks are circling. Real enemies--with real armies, capable of unleashing real war--watch our growing weakness and incompetence with great interest. September 11, 2001 was a very bad day. December 7, 1941 was worse.

A Rememberance In Toons

I was cussed out by Republican stooges when I posted this toonCollapse )

This was back when life in America was like thisCollapse )

'Course, as it turned out, and shows in every report, I was right. September 11, 2001 happened because the lazy, frat-boy President was asleep at the switch. And he used it as a REALLY WEAK excuse to bomb the crap out of Iraq.
Beatle terrorists!Collapse )

The administration also used it as a "Get Out Of Question Free Card." Corner anyone from the Reich about anything, and they always scamper behind 9/11.
CandygramCollapse )
I was right, SO EAT ME, FOX-WATCHING, FASCIST, REPUBLICAN SHEEP!!!!

September 11, 2001, letting Bin-Laden escape when he was cornered in Tora Bora, Iraq war mess, Katrina, Taliban back in Afghanistan... What does it take for the Republican lemmings to see what a dangerous and disastrously incompetent rube Bush is??????? How many people have to die for you to pull your heads out of whatever hole it's buried deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep into????

You voted for it! YOU defend it!

Issue #3: Republican War Heroes?
In Manchester, New Hampshire on June 12, Karl Rove said of John Kerry and John Murtha, "They may be with you for the first few bullets but they won't be there for the last tough battles."

What do the military records say...
John Murtha: 37-year career in the U.S. Marine Corps, earned the American Spirit Honor Medal, commanded of the 34th Special Infantry Company, Marine Corps Reserves, in Johnstown. Volunteered for Vietnam in 1966-67, received the Bronze Star with Combat "V", two Purple Hearts and the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry. He retired from the Marine Corps Reserve as a colonel in 1990, and was awarded the Navy Distinguished Service Medal by the Marine Corps Commandant

John Kerry: Enlisted in the Navy in 1966. Promoted to Lieutenant, and commands a swift boat in Viet Nam. Awarded three Purple Hearts. Kerry leaves his boat, pursues a Viet Cong fighter into a small hut, kills him, and retreives a rocket launcher. He is awarded a Silver Star. He is also awarded a Bronze Star with Combat "V".

Karl Rove: Was in favor of the Viet Nam war, but never volunteered to go. Selective Service records show he escaped the draft for nearly three years.

Dick Cheney: In favor of the Viet Nam war, but avoided the draft five times. He later said he had "other priorites."

George W. Bush: In Favor of the war, gets daddy to get him into the reserves where he won't be sent to Viet Nam. Goes AWOL and parties it up.

If anyone cuts and runs when the first bullet flies it's the Republicans. They are tough-talkin' cowards.
This is your party Republicans...YOU defend it!

Pull My Poll

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."
-Ann Coulter
"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."
-Ann Coulter
"Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots, and on the matter of America's self-preservation, the difference is irrelevant."
-Ann Coulter
"I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much."
-Ann Coulter about the widows of September 11, 2001

Poll #748529 Coulterific!

Ann Coulter is...

an ignorant whore
1(16.7%)
a rancid bitch
0(0.0%)
a horrible, hateful cunt
0(0.0%)
the lone voice of reason
1(16.7%)
the biggest living embarrassment to every mammal on the planet
4(66.7%)